I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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