Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
well most of my day revolves around power hour
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
