i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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