Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
