you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
