Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Randomize
