dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
