I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
