So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
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