This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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