So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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