she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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