At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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