tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
