we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
