Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
