All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
