Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
