The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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