Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
