the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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