I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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