That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
