So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
