i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
