She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
