Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize