im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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