it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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