I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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