Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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