Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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