Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
