Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
