Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
