Screwed.edu
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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