Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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