We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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