What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
