yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
