there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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