If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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