Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
