Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize