Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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