in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
