:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
