apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think I am morally bankrupt
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
