If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You made out with two different species that night
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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