I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
