Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
