how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
