Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize