Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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