how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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