glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
