i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
