Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
dude. I can hear the air.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
